Monday, May 23, 2022

Radio Silence in a Crazy World, or Thoughts on my 50th Year of Life


Current Dr. Z sighting!

Gosh, January was a long time ago, wasn't it? One would think that I fell off the face of the Earth and stopped blogging all together! The truth is that I decided to step back from blogging for a bit for a number of reasons -- school, job weirdness, The Big Move into our forever home, renovations, etc. Let's just say it was a really busy five months. It was also a very introspective five months; after all, I am turning 50 this year. I have a LOT to think about. 

50 feels different. 50 looks different. It hasn't escaped me that my father died when he was 69 and my mother died when she was 73. Granted, they were both terminally ill and their bodies just gave out. If I factor in my grandmothers' lifespans, the outlook is quite different. My maternal grandmother died when she was 85. My paternal grandmother was 93 or 94. With this in mind, I have anywhere between 19 and 43 years left. I'm not trying to be grim, but reality is reality. So the question becomes, what do I want to do with my time left? Most importantly, how am I going to live my life and not take any minute I have for granted? 


Lecturing at the Salem Arts Association for Salem Ancestry Days

These are the questions that I aim to answer and highlight with this blog. I spent a lot of time thinking about why I blog and what I really, truly want to write about. Turns out, being 50 is a big deal. I'm heading into what my Mom called my "Second Act." My body is changing ... holy crap, is it changing! I'm becoming more and more comfortable with just being myself. I have nothing to prove and, well, everything to gain. I no longer have to worry about "building" a life and career. I am starting to care less and less about what folks think of me. This is my reality ... the reality of being a 50 year old woman who isn't done living yet. THIS is what my blog will be highlighting for the foreseeable future. I want younger women to know that life isn't over after 40 and that you never stop learning, growing, and doing.

Oh Bijou!

The content of this blog will sometimes be uncomfortable ... can we talk about this crepey skin around my eyes! and the damned bruises that seem to come out of nowhere?!? It will be inspiring and frustrating as I navigate a new career and possibly starting a business. It will be fun and exciting as Ed and I explore our hometown, the coastline, and hopefully go on extended trips to places far and near. And I'm sure there will be outfits, renovations, recipes, gardening, and lots and lots pictures of Bijou and other future pets. 

My Ed, forever and always.

And yes, you'll be seeing a lot more of Ed because we're a team. He's navigating his 51 year and well, it's been interesting. 

With that said, welcome back to the Very Curious Doctor Z and navigating your "Second Act." 






9 comments:

  1. So nice to have a post from you again! And look at little Bijou, all grown up now but still so cute! I read somewhere once that the first half of life is all about "acquiring" -- learning and becoming who we are, getting our education, our partner, our career, home, family, possession, etc etc etc. But the second half of life is all about "letting go" -- facing the realities of life, what didn't work out, kids growing up and moving on, partners sometimes moving on in one way or another, retiring, downsizing the big house, requiring more care, and then finally the ultimate letting go. I think that observation is true. And at the 50 year point, we start to realize that we have more life behind us than ahead of us. I remember that being quite a psychological and emotional adjustment to make.

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    1. This is spot on for me right now. It's a lot to think about and process, but it's a good thing. It's really made me think about what is important, how I want to spend my time, what I want to do, etc. I think it's less about achieving something and more about happily doing those things I love to do. Like I said, I'm going to be using the blog to unpack all of this.

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  2. Always good to hear from you--enjoy whatever is going on. I get further and further away from believing in 'aging' the older I get!

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    1. Aw, thanks! My realizations have less to do with aging and more to do with the process the body, mind, and spirit go through. It's not about getting "old", but certain changes are undeniable. Knowing that life has an expiration date feels more important nowadays and it's really forcing me to think about how I want to spend my time and energy.

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  3. I'm so looking forward to reading more about your experiences. Welcome back!

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  4. I am so happy for you finally finding a house in your hometown, and excited for the new blog content!

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    1. Thanks Laura! It's been a wild, but fun adventure. It's time to set down roots and get comfy.

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  5. Yeah, good grief! it's definitely weird. And thank you.

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